Be still and know......

Yesterday the boys and I were on the road to Birmingham by 8:00. We were scheduled to have a sweat test for Jonathan at 10 at Children's Hospital. The doctor is concerned he isn't growing like he should be, so this would test for Cystic Fibrosis--something even the doctor admits he probably doesn't have. I really felt like I was jumping through hoops on the whim of the doctor, but since I had already talked her out of a referral to GI right now, I felt I at least had to follow-through with this test.

On the way, the boys were watching a DVD and I was praying and trying not to stress out that we would be late. As I drove, I kept thinking "Be still and know that I am God" and "Wait on the Lord". I just thought He was telling me not to be so stressed about getting there. Little did I know those words would be repeated to me at the end of my day. I prayed for gracious people if we were late and kind lab techs. I honestly didn't even bother praying for the results because he so obviously does not have CF, I had no doubt the test would return negative.

We made it just on time and had some kind people directing me where to go. Then we settled into the over-flowing waiting room of the Lab. And we waited. Another little boy came in with wrapped arms and, after eavesdropping, I realized he had the sweat test, too. I took Jonathan over to him to see his arms, to prepare him for what would happen. The mom was so sweet and described all of it to Jonathan. And then we waited some more. The boys were nearly perfect. I had brought a whole bag full of stuff to do and we used pretty much everything in it.....while we waited some more. After an hour and a half, I finally went to the desk to ask how much longer it would be while at the same moment, Jonathan's name was called.

If you want the medical details, read on. Otherwise, skip to the next paragraph. :) They cleaned his arm and then attached probes to send an electrical current through his arm for 5 minutes to stimulate his sweat glands. He cried but sat still all the way through the first arm. Then, Lois, the kind lab tech (Thank You, Lord!) put gauze, plastic, a diaper around his little arm and wrapped it all up with the tape they use when they draw blood. And then we repeated the whole process on the second arm. However, I asked Jonathan is he would like me to sing while the probes worked. He did and I sang his special "Jonathan song", then started in on the "B-I-B-L-E" at which point Lois joined in. :) By "Jesus Loves Me", Jonathan had quit crying and was saying his arm tickled. (Thank You, Jesus!) That arm got wrapped up and we were off to kill 30 minutes around the hospital.

We walked around and I had brought a special fruit snack for each of them. In 30 minutes, we returned to the Lab, had the wraps taken off and we were on our way. I had promised the boys we would go to the Lego store and they could each build three guys to buy. They were thrilled! We ate lunch at the mall, built Lego guys and headed home.

We arrived home around 4:30 and I listened to the message waiting for me. It was Lois. She was very sorry, but there had been a mistake in the test and it is invalid. Could we reschedule and do the test over? What?!?! With tears born out of exhaustion and disappointment, I relayed the news to Chris. I called Lois back who was nothing but sweet, apologetic and humble. We went over the details and it turns out that the sweat test is run manually and a set of numbers had been misplaced. She said they had looked through every garbage and had even gone so far as getting security to unlock their documents ready for shredding and could not find the information anywhere. I was gracious in my response because we are, after all, just human! Lois is obviously a believer and promised to pray for Jonathan's growth. :)

Chris and I have decided not to pursue this test again right now. Jonathan will have another growth check in November and, at that time, if he still hasn't gained or grown the way he should, we will reconsider repeating the test. I am apprehensive about telling the doctor our decision, but am confident it is the right one.

Even as I went to bed last night, I kept hearing the words "Be still and know I am God". I have no idea why He allowed all this to happen--to test my patience? to refine my character? or maybe to accomplish something that is not even closely related to me. Whatever the reason, I am trying to take Him at His word--He is obviously speaking to me! I have not arrived at the peace He wants me to have yet, but I am "failing forward" towards it. I know His peace will come--it always does.

And that's the long version. :)

Lord, help me be still and know that You, and You alone, are God. Help me to wait on You. Help me to cast my cares on You, knowing You care even about the small things.