I suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that Chris is back at Vandenberg AFB in California and attending our close friends' church and having lunch with them. (A fact I am jealous of!) :) I am having a MAJOR nostalgia day.
I have pumpkin chocolate chip muffins in the oven--a tasty treat I was introduced to by a neighbor at Vandenberg.
I am listening to my "Worship" playlist on my iPod that has songs I haven't heard since.....well, probably since Vandenberg. It brings back so many memories of a church we attended that had such a unique bond between its people. A bond we have never again experienced. (5-card fellowship, anyone?!)
I had an acquaintance on FB mention something that took me back to our first pregnancy--at Vandenberg, which I miscarried, and all the emotions that went with that event. The bittersweet memory of a child I never knew. My Josiah who will be waiting to welcome me to heaven.
And that led to a memory of a dear woman who understood and who recommended a book that ministered to me in a way I so desperately needed at the time. I have since passed this book on to countless women when they experience a miscarriage. That woman passed away from breast cancer shortly after we moved away. But she is not forgotten.
Oh! the memories of all the special friends and events we experienced there--living with friends until we got our house on base (I am an expert at giving shots now); Thanksgiving when a friend's husband told me there had been a recall on the turkey I was serving to about 20 people (I'm still dreaming of a way to get back at him for that particular "joke"); watching our friends plant a church in a nearby town but knowing we were where God had planted us and loving them for understanding that; becoming parents for the first time and all that entails. And so much more!
We were stationed at Vandenberg almost 10 years ago for just 3 years.
I have special memories from each place we have lived. What an incredible blessing it has been to live an AF life. Yes, the moves are hard. Yes, I hate the good-byes. But I would never choose to not go because who knows what memories the next place will hold?!
Thank you, Lord, for the reminder of all these special people You have allowed me to know and who have blessed my life in so many amazing ways! I can't wait to see who else You will place in my life!!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Perspective
I hesitate to post this because it is super honest and I've struggled with wanting the whole FB world to know my honest feelings. However, since someone already said what I feared people would say, I thought I would go ahead and put myself out there.
Last Friday Chris was told he would be leaving for training at Vandenberg, CA for a month. It is for a good reason and I wouldn't say no even if someone asked me. But I don't have to like it!
On the one hand, some civilian friends and family agree that this was short notice and a lengthy time to be away. On the other hand, some of my military friends and family think how short it is and how great that it isn't a deployment.
Here are the things I think about......
One military friend had 2 weeks' notice before her husband deployed for 6 months. Perspective.
One family member's spouse was to be away for 2 weeks and I remember how hard it was for them to have them gone. Perspective.
One family member's husband has been deployed to the Middle East for year-long deployments 3 (or is it 4?) times. Perspective.
So, which perspective is right? I feel like a weak military wife. We are supposed to be strong and roll with whatever punches the military feels like throwing at us. I have friends and family whose husbands have been gone for months or years and I feel silly for being so down about him leaving.
But here is the reality and what I keep coming back to. This is the man I love with all my heart. This is the man I have vowed to stand by no matter what. So, being apart from him should hurt. Whether it's a week or a month, I hope I never stop missing him and wishing he did not have to leave.
Do I believe God will be my strength while he is gone? Absolutely! Do I think the boys and I will be fine while he's gone? Of course! Life will go on, because that's what you do.
But maybe being sad doesn't have to mean I'm weak. Maybe it just means the other half of my heart will be in another state and it's okay to be sad about that.
I will hold down the fort here in WY. I will get the boys where they need to be and be the Cub Scout Den Leader in his place. I will school our children and look for fun things to make the time go faster. I will enjoy the freedom to not cook if I don't feel like it and watch all the silly TV shows I don't watch while he's home. I will look for opportunities to spend time with other women so I can use up all my words in a day. I will make the best of it. But I will cry a few times before he leaves, again when I say good-bye and again some nights when I go to sleep. I will wish his toothbrush was next to mine because it means he's home.
Yes, it's just a month. Yes, it's a whole month. It's both. Perspective.
Last Friday Chris was told he would be leaving for training at Vandenberg, CA for a month. It is for a good reason and I wouldn't say no even if someone asked me. But I don't have to like it!
On the one hand, some civilian friends and family agree that this was short notice and a lengthy time to be away. On the other hand, some of my military friends and family think how short it is and how great that it isn't a deployment.
Here are the things I think about......
One military friend had 2 weeks' notice before her husband deployed for 6 months. Perspective.
One family member's spouse was to be away for 2 weeks and I remember how hard it was for them to have them gone. Perspective.
One family member's husband has been deployed to the Middle East for year-long deployments 3 (or is it 4?) times. Perspective.
So, which perspective is right? I feel like a weak military wife. We are supposed to be strong and roll with whatever punches the military feels like throwing at us. I have friends and family whose husbands have been gone for months or years and I feel silly for being so down about him leaving.
But here is the reality and what I keep coming back to. This is the man I love with all my heart. This is the man I have vowed to stand by no matter what. So, being apart from him should hurt. Whether it's a week or a month, I hope I never stop missing him and wishing he did not have to leave.
Do I believe God will be my strength while he is gone? Absolutely! Do I think the boys and I will be fine while he's gone? Of course! Life will go on, because that's what you do.
But maybe being sad doesn't have to mean I'm weak. Maybe it just means the other half of my heart will be in another state and it's okay to be sad about that.
I will hold down the fort here in WY. I will get the boys where they need to be and be the Cub Scout Den Leader in his place. I will school our children and look for fun things to make the time go faster. I will enjoy the freedom to not cook if I don't feel like it and watch all the silly TV shows I don't watch while he's home. I will look for opportunities to spend time with other women so I can use up all my words in a day. I will make the best of it. But I will cry a few times before he leaves, again when I say good-bye and again some nights when I go to sleep. I will wish his toothbrush was next to mine because it means he's home.
Yes, it's just a month. Yes, it's a whole month. It's both. Perspective.
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